The Trick is to Keep Breathing
by nobody501
Summary: Set in the beginning of season six. Buffy's falling to pieces and in a horrible fit of depression. Her friends can't see past her fake happiness. Spike is the only one who is there to help her. Will be Spuffy.


Just a little story that popped into my head...I hope it doesn't suck as bad I think it does.

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_Always the one who has to drag her down  
Maybe you'll get what you want this time around  
The trick is to keep breathing  
She knows the human heart  
And how to read the stars  
Now everything's about to fall apart  
I won't be the one who's going to let you down  
Maybe you'll get what you want this time around._

The Trick is to Keep Breathing by Garbage

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Buffy stared down at the newly polished metal of her unused sword. Carefully running her fingers down the sharp edge she didn't notice the tiny droplets of blood falling down to mingle with recently shed rain on the ground. Lately, after she had come back, nothing seemed to hurt anymore. That made the hole inside her just burn all the more intensely. Sometimes during patrol, once she was away from her friends and the smile that she had painted upon her face was allowed to fade away, she would just sit down. While leaning her back against a grave she would ponder why she's still her. It would be so easy to end everything, to go back to that place where all was simple and nothing ever disturbed happy daydreams. But there were circumstances. She had to be the strong one, she had to take care of everyone and fix it all.

"I can't even fix myself," her words came out a strained whimper as the tears she was choking back threatened their way to the surface. This was a battle she wasn't going to win, however. Tears gently flowed down her cheek and joined the blood and rain. It's funny how sorrows can come in the form of liquids. Rain. Blood. Tears. Those that do not generally lead to happy thoughts but suck them in a vast world of darkness can take an actual form is truly amazing. Of course, they do not really cause such sorrow they only lead to the thoughts of them. Buffy stood up slowly and made her way to the exit of the graveyard. She roughly removed the tears from her cheeks with a shirt sleeve and wiped the blood away on the inside of her jacket. She had to conceal the evidence of any feelings other than her fake happiness.

Spike stepped out from his hiding place behind a tree. He watched the girl he loved walk away in unfathomable amount of pain. He wished he could help. Make her better. Fix her. Ever since she came back, since they brought her back, she had been broken. The fools couldn't even see it. Her friends bought into her fake smiles and forced laughter so they wouldn't have to live with the mistake they made. But he saw it. Every night he followed her and made sure she did nothing rash or let an enemy get the better of her. She had been walking around in such a catatonic oblivion that he was afraid that one day she wouldn't make it back from patrol. Then she'd be gone, again. He wouldn't allow it, though. He knew it was selfish, but he didn't want to lose her a second time. So, yeah, he followed her and watched after her. He was her guardian angel sent from hell that she was completely unaware of. Spike turned on his heel and walked back towards his crypt once he saw Buffy make it out safely.

Spike stood at his crypt door in a matter of minutes. He opened the door slowly and crept in as if not to startle anyone inside by a sudden presence. There would be no one there, of course, but the night was at a silent peace and it didn't seem his place to disturb it. Once inside he leaned up against the cold wall and slid down to the floor in one swift movement. He drew his knees up in a protective position as if they would ward off all the emotions floating in the air around him. They didn't. So he just rested his head on his knees and thought to himself, 'One day I'll fix her. I'll make everything better. All the pain and sorrow her friends refuse to see I'll take away. I'll find a way.'

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I'm know, I know this is so short! I was just trying to get the basic idea down, though. If you think it should be continued review and I promise I'll make the next one longer! There are probably alot of spelling/grammatical errors in here. Keep in mind I'm only 13 and those arn't my strong points...so please go easy on me there. If its no good tell me what could make it better...Please review good or bad, though, ok? 


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